At the time of Lilly’s death, we didn’t know Fiona all that well, but close contact over the next 9 months ensured we became quite good friends. This closeness came about because of her fragility – she became dependent on us physically, and we in turn, became dependent on her company. Fiona was an amazing and grand lady who kept a meticulous house, and tried to do her own cleaning, in spite of her age. What she lacked in physical strength, she made up for in practical jokes and a mischievous sparkle in her eyes.

Fiona loved to keep busy, and even though she suffered greatly because of her sisters’ deaths, she continued to be as optinistic and active as her body would allow.

She was a stay-at-home person who enjoyed making her own meals, but occasionally splurged on a restaurant/gourmet dinner. Fiona savoured all aspects of life and fought hard to stay alive, but in the end, her body just gave way. Her shell became too weak to contain such a powerful spirit.

I suspect, she will always be one of the oldest, wisest and most resilient beings I’ll ever know. The last 9 months we shared with her was an absolute honour and a privilage – her outlook and way of life should be taught in schools and emulated by others. It saddens me that more people didn’t pay her attention.

Fiona, until we meet up again, save us some of your home made peanut butter delicacies and go easy on that jogging. ;)

Eternal Be Your Memory…
Both Helen and I will miss you dearly…

Regards – Vasilios Theodorakis – February 2012

Looking at the date of my last post, its obvious that something went wrong, but let’s not dwell on the past and notions of morbidity. Let’s just accept, that 2011 was not one of my better years, and that I need to aim for a more realistic posting regime.

One creative process that has worked against me is my preference for pencil and paper (notebook) over word-processor. All my ideas and first drafts come to me in this analogue format. In fact I have a notebook full of social commentaries that were written after the last blog entry but never typed up and uploaded.

So here’s hoping that I find a way to convert my hand written material into digital text in a more systematic way. Let’s just say – “Good Day and Good Riddance”! to 2011 and “Hello and Let’s Begin”! to 2012. ;)

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – November 2011

The other night, while catching the train home, I decided to carry out an ad hoc survey and count who wasn’t using a device that had them attached via auditory umbilical cords to a little metal box. Of the 12 people I could see, 10 were plugged in! Now don’t get me wrong – I’m no luddite – I need technology and the internet to earn an income, but what’s happened to down time / quite time / reflection time or God forbid, prayer time! It’s as if the general public – and its not just the young – find it impossible to cope with the absence of noise, let alone listening to their own thoughts!

These sorts of observations, often get me wishing for a crystal ball that can look into the future and supply me with non-fictional information which I can use for fictional story lines. Our technological developments are now becoming stranger than fiction. The fact that so many people in public spaces, present as zombies being feed their daily programming, is a reality staight out of the twilight zone. I doubt Rod Serling could have come up with a weirder idea.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – June 2011

Please bring back GUIs – Graphical User Interfaces that make sense. Mac OS 7.1 or Mac OS 7.6 did just fine, even Windows 3.1 made some sense in regards to applications, files and folders. Our current (operating systems) OSs make no sense at all in relation to real world analogies. Its no wonder people get lost in the latest Mac OS X and Windows 7 menus. So many friends and relatives over the age of 75 have just given up in regards to digital technology, and those who haven’t, are constantly on the phone in need of OS support. ;)

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2011

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2011

I’ve got to say, I have always loved TOS because of this belief in the good of all individuals (and professions). Belief in a good that offers up hope for humanity’s future, not pessimism. Gene Roddenberry (TOS producer/writer) had quite an optimistic vision for our species. If only real doctors would take a page out of his fictional doctor’s book, and ask their patients – “how do you feel”? What a difference that would make to the doctor’s often invasive and unnecessary procedures. Just talking to the patient and asking them such a simple question, could make all the difference to the patient’s medical history and in turn, to their life!

In the meantime, as we wait for medicine to grow out of it’s Spanish Inquisition phase, thank goodness for Bones’ timeless dialog and banter with his patients – especially Kirk. This fictional interaction, still brings a smile to my face in regards to what may come to pass in the far distant future – a future, where hospital doctors boldly go where no one has gone before. ;)

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2011

What makes the death even more tragic, is that Ruby also died this year. Unfortunately, I didn’t know Ruby all that well. Lilly who I did get to know, had a body that was badly worn and withered but she remained active even in her old age. Lilly lived and died the way I wish I could live and die – active until the moment one lays down their head and passes away.

The remaining triplet Fiona, who I also don’t know too well, is of course lost without her other two siblings. I can’t imagine the loneliness she must feel. Helen and I will continue to support her as best we can until her time comes. Until the deaths of her sisters, Fiona had not spent a day apart from them.

In regards to the triplets’ leader, Ruby – Eternal be her memory.

In regards to my withered and energetic friend, Lilly – Eternal be her memory.

In regards to the trio’s survivor, Fiona – please keep her in your thoughts and/or prayers. May her time come as peacefully as Lilly’s and may she not be crushed by the loneliness she now carries since the other triplets’ departures.

The story of their life should really be told – it’s an inspiration to all “students of life”.

Regards – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2011

I’m pleased to say, the blog’s stats show its readership continues to (patiently) revisit the site, even though nothing has gone up in all this time. I thank each and everyone of you for your support and hope to make it worth your while for having stuck with this blog.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2011

The post operative care I received however – now that’s another story! Had I not discharged myself from the hospital when I did, I would now be in real trouble with my immuno-suppression . All hale the ongoing incompetence of Queensland Health – the clinical and hygiene risk patients are put through is something to behold! If you ever have to deal with this bureaucracy, keep your wits about you. Always check the hygiene practices of staff, what medications they’re administering and what procedures they intend to carry out – and never, ever be afraid to advocate or say no to their “carefree approach” to your well being.

In light of my recent experience, I now have grave concerns for patients who cannot, or will not advocate for themselves in a context where “duty of care” is less important than whether a doctor or the department might be sued. Over the years, I’ve witnessed a lot of questionable behaviour in hospitals, but even I was surprised by the number of junior doctors whose standard response to questions (about one’s own medical status) began with the following – “Legally, I can’t answer that question for you!” It seems its now easier to leave medical incompetence in place and “lawyer oneself up” rather than improve patient safety and care.

On a more positive note and in spite of what I experienced after the operation, I am genuinely grateful for the brilliant work carried out by the neuroradiology team. Their compassion, communication and skill cannot be faltered, even if the system in which they work leaves a lot to be desired.

All things going well, I look forward to resuming this blog as of next week. Thank you for all your well wishes during my convalesces – they were much appreciated.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – February 2011

So much still to be said, but I know if something does go wrong, another will eventually step forward and say what I had hoped to say.

All things going well though, this blog will resume in February 2011. If there are complications – my wife will add a closure post to this site.

You have all my hopes for the future,

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – January 2011

“Why are we here?”
“We are here to add a new shade of colour to the rainbow of life.”

This was written and shared with friends and family in the late 1980s.

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

The saying was part observation (of past circumstances) and part motivation (positive self talk and encouragement). It was obviously hobbled together by a child, when you look at its grammatical structure, but it worked and worked well. At the time, the mantra helped me excel in whatever I tried to do, despite my dysfunctional environment and against all odds.

The saying went something like this:
Nothing comes easy,
Yet nothing is impossible!

If you correct for the use of “nothing”, it meant…
No accomplishment comes easy,
Yet no accomplishment is impossible!

Something so simple, yet it placed me on a magic carpet of self confidence which lasted a full 5 years. Damn all the people I encountered from 1985 onwards who convinced me to abandon my own mantra! Shame on you, and shame on me for allowing you to take away my hopes and dreams!

Truth be told though – by the time I got to Uni, I fell into the same trap I had witnessed most of my high school friends succumb to, and that was, wanting to do well without actually doing the work! I forgot the first part of my own mantra, i.e. that no thing comes easy.

Unfortunately, what often follows a desire for reward without effort, is blaming everything and everyone when things don’t go your way. Once I got into this mode of operation, I became the consummate victim. It’s so easy to go from success to failure, if you start to think people owe you something. Looking back, it’s a shame I wasn’t able to maintain the humility of that 13 year old who never did learn that he couldn’t accomplish something. And why? Because he was always far too busy working towards that accomplishment! ;)

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

The author of the week is the great American poet: Walt Whitman.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2010

This week’s pieces include two very recent commentaries and one short poem about the industrial and inhumane slaughter of domestic animals in Western countries.

The poem is called – Oceans Of Misery
The commentaries include – Am I An I Or A We? and Living In The Grey.

There’s no author of the week for this site update but I’ll have one again next time.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2010

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

Its subject matter is an imaginary encounter with my childhood role model – my great grandmother – Malamati, and talks a lot about fundamental hopes for the future.

The author of the week is the 70s and the 80s TV scriptwriter Glen A. Larsen who developed stories like Battlestar Galactica and Knight Rider.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2010

In addition to identifying what was going on, it took many years to find a local specialist that I trusted and who might be able to do something about the situation. My next problem was that I didn’t like the sound of injecting titanium coils or glue into my brain in order to block off the fistula. Especially, since no one could guarantee the toxic side effects of the glue. And so, I lived with the noise for almost 15 years – which probably did more damage to my mental health than any glue would have done to my body.

In January of this year though, under extreme hot weather conditions and while clearing rubble at our fence line, I developed another clot which thrombosed within the fistula and blocked off the vessel. For the first time in 15 years I could hear silence – it was magical and a small miracle considering the clot hadn’t travelled elsewhere in my body.

Fast forward now to Tuesday 7th September 2010 and yet again I had to defend myself, my wife and our property against the neighbourhood nut job. This time he decided to use his roof to terrorise my wife over the fence! Fortunately the situation was yet again addressed by the police, but not before I had to raise my voice far too loudly, maintain my blood pressure in a raised state for far too long and experience adrenaline surges that continued for many days after the incident.

Within 48 hours of defending our home, the therapeutic clot blocking off the fistula had been dislodged and the vessel had reopened. So now I’m back to listening to my heart beat 24 hours a day! After so much silence though, I’m really not coping with the noise and my wife and I have decided to move forward with the artificial embolism. There are many medical risks involved with the process but after experiencing the stillness of silence for 8 months, I cannot go back to listening to and waiting for my heartbeat to stop!

So wherever you find yourself, try to contemplate the nature of an individual whose sole purpose in life is to traumatise and derail other people’s lives. Watching this individual in action, has reminded me of how capable our kind is of pure acts of evil. So much for us being children of God – agents of Satan maybe – but children of God? I have my doubts.

In spite of this, my wife and I continue to move forward as the assaults are again extended to our physical selves. Wish us well in the battles ahead and if you’re a religious person, keep us in your prayers.

Regarding this blog I’ll leave a final posting when I head into hospital. All things going well, I’ll resume the postings as soon as they let me out. If anything goes wrong however, my wife Helen will post a closing commentary to this site. In the meantime, I’m finally back to editing and hopefully completing the upload of my first poetry anthology – “Growing Up”. There’s a handful of poems to get through still and I’m only 12 months behind schedule. ;)

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

And finally, I can’t let the digital day pass without wishing my wife a happy wedding anniversary. Its been quite a journey but one I can’t imagine having shared with anyone else. All my love Hally.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2010

Two other commentaries written this week include:
Contact From The Future and
Creating A Nest

Finally, the author of the week is the Australian poet – Judith Wright. An incredibly passionate person, she was also a strong environmental and aboriginal rights advocate. Judith Wright died in 2000, and like Oodgeroo Noonuccal I had an opportunity to meet her but never followed through before she died. Yet another example of me not seizing the day!

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2010

Special thanks go out to my friends John M. and Sofronios E. who’ve repeatedly contacted me, checked I was OK and enquired as to when my next posting would go up – the prompting, my brothers, did get me moving again – thank you. :)

The site now has the following additions:
1 – Save The Planet - 7th May 2010
2 – A New PM – 25th June 2010
3 – Where We’re Up To – 2nd July 2010
4 – Xenophobes Aren’t Racist – 9th July 2010
5 – Window To The Visible World – 16th July 2010
6 – Window To The Invisible World – 23th July 2010
7 – Privilege Is The Western Lifestyle – 30th July 2010
8 – The Sacrament Of Story – 6th August 2010
9 – Helen’s Blog – 13th August 2010

My highlighted author for the week is – Sun Tzu, who wrote the “Art Of War”. Historically his writings are sometimes attributed to his descendant as well as himself – his descendent being Sun Bin. Irrespective of who really wrote the military treatise, its approach to strategy is not only useful for war but human social life as well.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – August 2010

For me, the important days of reflection can be quite disastrous, especially if I don’t plan and work towards them. My days of reflection are all anniversaries associated with PTSD events, occur throughout the year and are quite numerous. The 20th August is the biggest of these, as its the day I physically died in 1991.

2010 therefore marks 19 years since the medical profession, family and friends gave up on me walking out of one of Brisbane’s most decrepit hospitals – the old P.A. (pre-renovations). Needless to say, virtually all the people from that period of my life have now been excised. I’ve come to believe that people who give up on you, don’t deserve to be included in your life.

Due to a genetic condition, that was finally diagnosed in 2000, I’ve always been predisposed to excessive blood clotting. At that time, August 1991, I had developed so many clots in the left lung that the lung appeared as one giant clot on all the M.R.I.s and X-Rays. Though placed on IV anticoagulants, the expectation was that some of the clots would break away from the lung and travel to the heart or brain – at which point I would die.

Ironically, none of the clots ever did break away. Instead, my near death experience was brought on by the incompetence of a Queensland Health junior doctor. This gentleman caused a massive bleed in my throat, by shoving a tube down my oesophagus far too violently. The loss of blood caused my blood pressure to drop to nothing, my heart to stop and the resuscitation team to move into overdrive.

10 minutes after my body shut down, they succeeded in reviving me. The first thing I heard as I came to was an elderly and senior doctor reassuring me that I would be OK now (– I never did get to thank this man for saving my life). In addition to the resuscitation team, the main thing that drove me to stay alive was fear and anger. Fear and anger that if I died, the real reasons as to how I ended up alone and in hospital would never be told. If I died, family and friends – who had abandoned me – would conveniently make up stories that painted themselves in a good light while describing my misfortune as some random and freak event. The fact that their actions had directly left me homeless, forced me to live out of my car while suffering extreme Ulcerative Colitis and ignored my malnutrition brought on by internal haemorrhaging and a lack of food – well, none of that mattered, even though my living conditions were later identified as having greatly contributed to what brought on the clotting. In their hands, these facts would never have seen the light of day. Admittedly, I over did it when I was finally released from hospital – telling everyone and anyone who would listen, as to how the actions of certain people (whom I had trusted) had almost cost me my life.

Since the 20th August 1991, much of my existence has felt like a scene from the movie “Gandhi” i.e. I’ve run a passive resistance campaign against the advances of the Grim Reaper and any obstructions life could toss at me. Just like Gandhi’s documented process of burning racial passes in South Africa i.e. where participants were beaten by police but continued to crawl towards the fire and toss in their passes; I’ve continued to crawl forward, no matter how slow life became and no matter how many things obstructed life’s path. Beaten and bloodied – sometimes literally and sometimes metaphorically – movement forward was often so slow it was non-existent. If nothing else, the process did prove that standing one’s ground against both the visible and invisible forces of nature is possible.

My message then, on this anniversary of reflection – i.e. what I now call my life day – is this: We all have it within ourselves to keep going no matter how difficult the circumstances get. Stubbornness (and the will to live) appears to be our evolutionary advantage as a species and raises its glorious head on both a personal and communal level as long as we allow it. I should also add, occasionally asking God to intercede on our behalf doesn’t go astray either. ;)

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

As a gift, I’m therefore developing and designing a new blog for her, where she can share these and other thoughts. The blog will be located at www.verbakel.org and will be called Helen Verbakel – On Life, Love and Laughter. I’ll let readers know, once the site goes live.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – August 2010

In 2007 this blog was started as a vehicle to spotlight the back log of poems, commentaries, short stories, etc,. that I’ve worked on since 1983. Despite a series of serious derailments I have managed to get a number of commentaries online as well as 88 poems in the last 3 years.

Its time to review the road map for the blog and identify what has worked and what hasn’t worked. Commentaries and poems – yes; short stories and novel material – no; audio versions of poems (when I’ve had the time) – yes; audio versions of everything else – no; links to favourite authors and websites – yes; commentaries and track-backs (pings) – no – spam has been a major issue throughout the life of the blog.

I think the format I’ve settled on, of at least one posting a week is well worth sticking with – it’s realistic and works, whether it’s a new commentary or a site update linking to an edited version of an old poem. I believe short stories and novel material will have to be left for print or ebook versions but I do think donations, poem sponsorship and major patrons will work with the material being uploaded. I hope to have the financial aspects of the blog up and running during the course of this year. Tied in with this, is my hope that the first anthology will go to print (via sponsorship and donations) during the 2010/2011 financial year.

What I do need to do is streamline the focus of the site and lose the grandeous idea of hugh numbers of categories such as: cartoons,childhood pieces,drawings and designs, scripts and songs. This should also make it easier for sponsors to pick clear pieces that link back to their own sites and tighten up the blog’s focus.

There are still many years worth of poems to upload, but a conservative aim of completing one anthology every 12 to 18 months is looking realistic. Once online, each anthology will be opened up to sponsorship and in turn the creation of a print version.

All things going well, the hope is to also offer print versions of short story anthologies and the novel I’ve been working on – sold via this blog.

As always, I’ll keep you posted.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – July 2010

The label was not only a sign of fondness for the crazy grand son-in-law – who did everything far too slowly, it also summed up how Pop could get to the crux of a personality. He had a knack for finding a word or phrase that perfectly captured what someone was all about. In my case, how I couldn’t handle imposing on anyone. Pop’s long term advice in regards to my hang-up? – “Just relax Vas…, my food is your food…, just leave the money on the table after you’ve eaten!”

God bless you Jack, I’ll miss the banter! Until we meet again, look after yourself and Nan. Save me a piece of her sponge as the rest of us will be there with you soon enough. I look forward to that next pot of tea and our ongoing deliberations on how unnatural it is to rush anything – especially work!

Pop and Nan (Mona) had 7 children, 18 grandchildren, 18 great grandchildren and countless hangers-on like me. Not bad for a family that’s descended from Scottish immigrants who started out life in a tent on the beach at Port Melbourne (Victoria – Australia) in the 1850s.

Eternal be, his memory. Pop was born on April 1st 1919 and entered his repose on June 7th 2010.

My condolences go out to all the Grants in regards to his passing. Pop will be missed by each and everyone of us. He leaves behind countless wonderful memories and set the standard on how to live and what it means to be a gentleman.

Pop’s Eulogy (Text – PDF / 60kb)
Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – June 2010

My highlighted author for the week is: Octavia E Butler – a brilliant American Science Fiction writer who’s given us some amazing predictions about the future and some extraordinary alternative realities. Her death in 2006 was an absolute tragedy for the written arts.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – June 2010

Its form was born into this land and has belonged to this country for over 43 years. If individuals don’t understand that a non Anglo-Celtic name is as Australian as an Anglo-Celtic name, (or an Aboriginal name for that matter) then they’ve missed the whole point of this country.

Why do I still have to explain such a simple thing to supposedly “educated people”! Frankly, if they don’t get it – it’s their problem, not mine!

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

My highlighted author for the week is: Raj Patel – a writer with deep convictions to social and environmental justice. His latest book is – “The Value Of Nothing”

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2010

The commentary is called: Good Friday 2010

The highlighted author for the week is: Henry David Thoreau – a poet, environmentalist and activist of the 19th Century.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2010

The saddest part of the discovery was that the person forced my grandmother to sign over the rights to the land just before the matriarch of the family died! One has to wonder, what sort of character badgers a 93 year old woman on her death bed for the family’s inheritance! Instances like this, make me glad that I had very little to do with these people over the years.

The poem is called: Olive Grove

The highlighted author for the week is: Chrissie Hynde – though technically not a full time writer, her genuineness, song lyrics and written material on animal rights qualify her as an inspirational person.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2010

The creative down side to all this, is how much time, energy and resources were needed in order to deal with this idiot. Unfortunately, the ongoing drama took me away from editing and uploading material to the blog and left me feeling quite bitter about the whole situation. On the up side however, we now have a secure boundary to our property and the level of safety is substantially better. We also seem to be moving forward again and “baring any unforeseen circumstances” I should be returning to a weekly upload.

Before I forget though, I’d like to thank the people who have continued to read the back catalog of postings and poetry on this site. Without your support (and traffic), the site would not have maintained its search engine ranking over that amount of time, and ranking (for better or worse) is everything in regards to readership on the web.

I’d especially like to thank my readers in the great city of Moscow. My server logs show that the Moscow readership maintained a great interest in the audio versions of the early poetry I uploaded to the site. Please rest assured that I will be uploading additional audio material as soon as I can – thus increasing the repertoire of what you can listen to over time. Your patronage (and bandwidth usage) also allowed the blog to briefly take the top “Theodorakis” ranking with Google (for one week at least), bumping “Mikis Theodorakis” from his number one spot. Mikis’ wikipeadia entry has since regained the top spot, as it well should, considering his artistic legacy. ;)

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2010

What I do know is that he had a gentle and jolly soul – he never hurt or caused anyone trouble. Such a good person did not deserve to die so suddenly and so tragically. At the age of 41 he had a massive heart attack while at work – away from friends and family. I can only imagine his last moments must have been filled with fear and panic as to what was happening to his body. No one deserves to die so horribly scared – I just hope his suffering didn’t last long and he found peace soon after the attack.

In addition to this tragedy is the tragedy of his family. His father only died a few years ago and both brothers had been sick, experiencing medical complications most of their lives. I’ve often thought, though there is a lot of misery in the world, it is not evenly distributed. There are some who go through life almost charmed and there are others, like these boys (and their parents), who bear an uneven level of suffering compared to the rest of the population.

Emmanuel is survived by his mother and brother George, as well as numerous cousins, aunts and uncles.

“Eternal be, his memory”…
“Emmanuel was, is and will always be a brother in Christ”…

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

This might not be the case for everyone, but was certainly the case for me. 25 years have now passed since I had to walk away from the idea of training and working in physics. At the time I didn’t realise the dream was unraveling and would never be fulfilled. Then again, in 1985 I was an above average “horribly blinkered” adolescent, who couldn’t see that anything else existed in life other than my one and only goal. The notion of not reaching that goal was (for me), far more horrific than death.

To emphasise what effect this had on me – years after I pulled out of my Science degree, I still had PTSD flashbacks during stressful events in my life. These flashbacks were not related to any near death experience but instead involved reliving a Pure Mathematics exam I had failed. For me – life ending, was more about leaving behind my dreams than physically dying (and being revived in hospital).

So how did I get past this blockage in life and let go of the unfulfilled dream? It took a long time but once I was able to find a new vehicle for my scientific interests, it was no longer an issue. i.e. it and I finally found a home in my Sci-Fi writing.

Does this mean that I’ve created real closure for the pain and loss I experienced all those years ago? I can’t say for certain, but what I do know is this – I don’t have the flashbacks anymore and that’s got to be a good sign. Psychologically speaking, no one ever fully recovers from extreme loss (this is a fact) – the passage of time just ensures its less intense. For example, today I have written and uploaded this posting from my old campus while working on my Sci-Fi manuscript at the university’s main library. This should have acted as a trigger factor and produced negative feelings (as occured in the past) but the experience has been nothing but positive. ;)

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

Instead, I was brought up to believe that the only important thing in life was getting a degree – everything else would take care of itself. Ironically, the parent who forced this philosophy on me ended up being so threatened that I might become “a better person” than them, that they sabotaged my ability to complete that degree. In the end, not only did I not have the basic skills and resources for living, the one thing that I had been told was the panacea for all life’s needs never came to pass – i.e. I never did get that degree (at least not in the field that I loved – science).

As I had no guidance in what was important in life, I experienced real difficulties in making decisions that helped those things happen. Anything that I did manage to get in place was nothing short of miraculous. Combine this foundation-less start with some serious medical conditions and I entered a state of limbo from age 18 to 33. Its only been through the help of strangers (not family) that I’ve been able to put in place, during the last ten years, what most people (in Western counties) have in place by the time they’re 25.

So today, as I turn 43 and the important things in life are finally part of my day to day experience, I find that I have a vision of a future and enough ability and resources to hopefully make things happen. I also have the love and support of good people and hopefully the ability to still have a family.

Time as always is the great leveler, and I have no idea if I’ll be delegated enough of it to turn thoughts into realities before I suffer a systemic shutdown of my body. I live in hope however, that the metronome forgets about me just long enough, that I might carry out some fancy footwork and leave behind completed legacies not partialities.

More than most however, I know that time doesn’t choose favourites and I don’t expect it to do me any favours. In the end it boils down to just one thing – continuing to express oneself in the world for as long as one can. Everything else is just human philosophy and rhetoric – nothing more.

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

Blessed with the genetics of Cretan pirates and dollops of PTSD drawn from far too many near death experiences, I find my attempts to reach for sainthood hobbled by thoughts of pummeling the evil I encounter in humanity. Sure, one might argue, doing away with evil can’t be such a bad thing, but these thoughts often involve the “ripping apart” limb by limb of individuals who carry out these evil acts. Somehow I don’t think this approach follows the ways of a loving God – at least not the examples that Christ left us.

As I struggle with these things on a daily basis, finding some days worse than others, the passions created by both my genetics and my experiences taunt me to hit out at those without a conscience (even though I have never physically hit anyone in my life). Fortunately, these thoughts are countered by one’s training in the Faith which teaches us to turn the other cheek (in a literal sense), and that it is God’s domain to address the wrongs that others have done unto us. Religious morality is also supported psychologically by social inhibitions that hold unsavoury thoughts in check as well as one’s possession of an ethical “free will” that continues in its determination to do no harm to others. As always it’s about one’s checks and balances – things that have allowed us to develop into functional societies, at least up until now.

The only comfort I draw from this personal struggle is that humanity as a whole suffers from this dichotomy of thought and inner conflict as well. The best example of this is how most civilised society’s espouse peace yet almost always maintain well armed defence forces.

I suppose it is part of our religious/spiritual nature to try and follow in the footsteps of our peacemakers – hoping that our enemies will leave us alone. As a biological species however, we continue to reserve the right to use big sticks to hit the bad guys over the head, especially when we fear losing ground to them while adhering to a philosophical pacifist approach.

Unfortunately, there’s an ongoing ethical dilemma to this situation and that is, if we choose to pick up the retribution stick we in turn become the bad guys. So much for sainthood – I therefore continue to be the unworthy and pitifully hopeless servant of God, even as I turn 43!

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

Being drawn into the battle on yet another front, the year has not ended quite as I had hoped. My first anthology, “Growing Up” (1983 – 1990) is still not all online, and energy is temporarily having to be redirected to protect my family and myself.

This physical and metaphysical war is far from over, and I am obligated to continue in my endeavours until the job is done.

So I thank you, the reader for your patience with, and patronage of my material – in spite of the delays. My hope is that 2010 is a more successful year in terms of uploads.

Until then, you have all our best wishes (both my wife’s and mine) for a healthy new decade.

Take care and stay safe,

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – January 2010

The exact date of writing in January 1990 is unknown.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – December 2009

The exact date of writing in January 1990 is unknown.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – December 2009

The overall poem is called Three Parts, even though each section has its own title. In order to highlight each piece, I’m releasing the components as separate posts. The poem includes Three Parts – Responsibilities, Three Parts – House, and Three Parts – Daisy.

This week’s component is therefore: Three Parts – Responsibilities. Its exact date of writing in January of 1990 is unknown. I’ve therefore estimated it as 06 January in order to accurately display its chronological order in relation to the other poems. The poem talks about how a dreamer was forced to “grow up” !

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – November 2009

When I start up again, I’ll be resuming and completing the upload of my first anthology i.e. – “Growing Up”, which was written between 1983 and 1990.

My next scheduled posting should be a poem that appears here on Friday 27th November 2009 – if not beforehand.

Till then…

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – November 2009

For example, you see it in the woman who stops to help a young girl who’s dog has been run over on a major road. The woman makes a conscious choice to pull over when all other drivers pretend they don’t see anything going on and drive past the youngster’s tragedy.

You see it in the teacher who puts her pupils first, in spite of her back stabbing discriminatory colleagues who stop at nothing to get the cushy teaching jobs – year in, year out. The teacher has a habit of biting her tongue and getting on with the actual teaching, even though her own life has been made miserable by her co-workers.

You see it in the guy who continues to get up every morning even though all his hopes and dreams have been dashed by life’s unpredictability. In spite of his accumulated hardships, he continues to embark on new endeavors each and everyday – hoping that just one of them will bring some purpose to his life. He is the archetypal figure of stubbornness who refuses to give up on life, even though everyone else thinks life has given up on him.

Courage is a precious thing and cannot exist without decency. I have witnessed it first hand through these people and its rare occurrence continues to keep me going when the cowardice of the majority crashes over me like an insurmountable wave.

What people often miss, is that the courageous aren’t rich and have few resources to spare. They tend to become possessed (or is that obsessed) by the urge to manifest decency in the visible world and find it hard not to follow through on that urge. When they do achieve a win for their efforts, something or someone is often saved but the courageous rarely receive any personal gain. Alternately when they lose, the loss is always personal and sometimes substantial. The price the courageous pay can be financial, interpersonal, health based, or a loss of safety and security.

Years ago, I had the misfortune of listening in on a conversation led by an individual who had never lifted a finger in his life to help another human being. He was “slagging off” about a true hero, someone who had tried to save a drowning homeless person but instead drowned himself. The coward’s argument was that the dead hero should never have tried to save the homeless person, for the hero’s life was far more important than the homeless man’s life. If the hero had just minded his own business he would still be alive, and that’s all that mattered!

Such heartless attitudes, highlight how people’s social responses continue to be good or bad – right or wrong. Irrespective of whether you believe people’s responses can be categorized in this way or whether a God oversees such categories, a person can’t escape the repercussions of indifference as it has an uncanny ability to haunt one in the wee hours of the morn. For better or worse our human psyche is founded on such values and even the coward’s conscience will cause them distress until they either seek absolution for their lack of decency and/or die. Either way, a life that lacks decency eventually becomes meaningless.

I for one hope that I continue to grow in regards to decency, and believe that I’ll know when this occurs as my actions will become bolder and more courageous. My wife on the other hand, has nothing more to prove. She is already the most courageous person I know and everyone who encounters her always benefits from her decency – especially the children she teaches. ;)

Dedication (For my wife Helen and her friend Belinda Adams)
Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2009

Being uneducated and unfamiliar with the old adage (euphemism) that “God helps those who help themselves”, she had a tendency to cross her fingers and hope that God would provide her with everything she needed – not a very smart strategy under any circumstance.

Needless to say, the lady’s life went from bad to worse and her inactivity eventually caused her to lose her house.

The author for the week is the renaissance writer known as: Voltaire

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2009

Called – Insight And Wisdom From Parents? - it was written in June 1989.

The author for the week is the poet: William Wordsworth.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2009

The author for the week is the Canadian poet and musician: Leonard Cohen.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2009

The author for the week is the Roman poet and vegetarian: Ovid.
Some of his poems can be read at: http://www.poemhunter.com/ovid/

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2009

As of next week however, I should be back to editing and uploading the “Growing Up” anthology. My ongoing aim is to publicly release all poems in this anthology by the end of the year.

In the mean time, the pieces uploaded in the last month include:
Formal Worship And Nature – a ‘religion and theology’ commentary.
The Havoc They Reeked! – a new poem written in August.
The Apple Multi-Touch Tablet – A Mouse Replacement? – a ‘tech prediction’ about the yet to be released Apple Tablet.
The Exam Syndrome – a ‘general’ commentary on competition.
This Is What We Are! – a ‘religion and theology’ commentary on the state of Orthodox Christianity in Australia (still being worked on).

The author for the week is the great pacifist and vegetarian: Albert Einstein.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2009

For me though, existence is more about survival and quality of life. I’m often told, “one approach, is no better or worse than the other – they’re just different.” Needless to say, this affirmation is that of liberalist fanatics.

For better or worse, people (like me) have trouble maintaining the frivolity and excitement of achievement, especially after staring death in the face as often as we have. Most recently, I’ve decided to put the last vestiges of my own need for success and competition to rest. Its time to get on with what I have to do and not obsess over what I’d like to do.

Ironically, this doesn’t translate into not doing well at what I have to do; it’s more about, not being concerned as to what others think and not needing to compete within our social system. Still, taking this path has relegated me to the leper’s corner in more ways than one. It’s also very dubious as to whether this approach is a good long term choice for my wife and I, in regards to our financial well being. :)

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2009

Contrary to popular opinion (i.e. that of my wife and another close friend) the frog was not me, but an amalgam of male friends who went after girls who treated them badly. In addition to this, each and everyone of these friends had other female friends who were romantically interested them and who would have made wonderful partners/companions. As often happens though, my friends ignored these girls and to this day are still seeking out wives!

I’m glad to say that unlike reality, “The Facades Of Life” does have a happy ending, for the frog and his folklore rose.

The author for the week is the essayist: George Bernard Shaw

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – July 2009

Unfortunately, I never wrote down her name, can’t remember where she’s buried and can barely recall her face. What’s impossible to forget however is how she treated people. The poem is called – Her Sadness And Her Strength and was written in 1988.

The author for the week is the great Russian Orthodox fictional writer: Leo Tolstoy

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – July 2009

While working through this first anthology, I’ve found my early obsession with love a bit laborious and ridiculously naive. I therefore offer up my apologies to any readers who are also finding the latest run of poems from the late 1980′s more than a bit tedious.

As with many things viewed from a distance, love had been blown out of all proportions – mainly because I had never experienced it outside my adolescent fantasies. A little bit of experience may have cured me of my obsession, but unfortunately that didn’t happen till much later in my 20′s.

In regards to this blog though, I have for better or worse made a commitment to document all the material I’ve penned over the years – the purpose being, to highlight how one develops their own voice over time. Fortunately we’re not too far away from the end of the first anthology. Subsequent anthologies do cover a wider range of topics and put my over bearing notion of love back in its place.

The author for the week is Mary Shelley’s husband, troublemaker and vegetarian extraordinaire: Percy Bysshe Shelley

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – July 2009

The author for the week is great novelist: Rudyard Kipling

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – July 2009

Then there’s the vintage board games, toys and manual typewriters; the music collection with a who’s who of the 60s, 70s and 80s; DVDs galore – now that all the retailers sell popular titles and TV series for under $10.

There’s 30 years of PCs, Macs and software; furniture that spans 7 decades; a stucco house that was built in the 1950s and has barely changed; the Hills Hoist cloths line; a mixture of native trees, veggies and lawn; the second love of my life – my kayak – the first of course being my wife, Helen.

Finally, we both have long hair, wear daggy cloths, love architecture and good design but have never felt the need to possess flashy things ourselves – or maybe that’s because we’ve never had a lot of money!

We critique all things political within the Australian and Pacific context; love cartoons, sitcoms from the 60s, 70s, 80s and 90s as well as British comedy; refuse to support the use, abuse and slaughter of other sentient beings and only consume nutritional food that has a minimal impact on the planet.

All in all, our culture is that of popular culture, yet there are those who look at my name and still presume my culture to be something altogether different. My identity is based on a mainstream (politically green) Australian footing and my moral/ethical boundaries defined by my Orthodox Christian religion.

At the age of 42, I am very comfortable with this combination. The amalgam of influences that has gone in to make the “me” is rich – a complex weave with many happy memories – especially from the 1980s and the last ten years of my marriage. I am under no illusions however that my culture is anything but popular culture, especially popular English speaking culture. I was born in Australia and bar three months of my life, have lived that entire time upon her shores. For better or worse I live the English language, think in it and revel in playing with its vocabulary and structure.

There is only one thing that is missing – my religion refuses to put down roots in this country and refuses to recognise the legitimacy of people like me. The Orthodox Christian Church treats us as though we are invisible.

All my life I have fought this attitude – it is dysfunctional and has a destructive effect on any well balanced human being. It asks one to denounce one’s actual experience and culture and adopt a culture that has no relevance to one’s everyday life. Needless to say, this has resulted in the bulk of my family and peers walking away from Orthodox Christianity all together.

Lets put aside the obvious hinderence for a moment, i.e. that its current liturgies are not accessible to English speaking mainstream Australians. The other major obstacle to participation is its ethnic based Churches and the bulk of it’s ethnic based people who are down right unwelcoming. The Church in Australia has become a closed club rather than the universal Church that Christ established – what an institutional mess!

(There are many reasons as to why this happened but the biggest contributor is that the Orthodox Faith did not establish itself in this country the way it traditionally established itself in other countries – i.e. through missionary churches.)

Unlike Bishop Kallistos Ware, who as an Anglican (in the UK) walked into an Orthodox Church and felt at home, if the average spiritually interested Australian walks into any of these ethnic based churches, at best they’ll get dirty looks, at worst they’ll be confronted and ushered out. So much for following Christ’s example of welcoming all! What is even more perplexing, is that this structure continues to baptise mainstream Australians into itself, even though there are very few places across the continent where English speakers can worship and even fewer places where they can experience a sense of belonging!

The only thing I take comfort from is that the current situation is a heresy according to Orthodoxy’s own dictum – Phyletism – which says that any church established in a new land should be operated in the language of that land – this principal has always been in our canons. The hope therefore continues to be, that in addition to these ethnic based parishes, missionary (English speaking) parishes will one day be built in this country. In a nation based on democracy and choice, one should be able to worship in the language in which they think – Indigenous, Slavic, European or English.

In the meantime, I am happy with who I am, love that I’m a product of popular culture drawn from more than five decades and that my first language is English. I have no intention of changing any of this to accommodate the short sightedness of the current administration controlling my religion.

Thus, were you to walk into our humble abode – you’ll find ABC’s Radio National blaring in the background not SBS; reruns of Seinfield and The Simpsons on TV not Inspector Rex and guitar based rock (from the 80s) streaming out of our CD player not suicidal Aegean music. You’ll also find numerous icons of the great martyrs and saints of the Church, crosses from holy places like Mount Athos and a sanctuary with an oil candle and incensor.

This is how my kind live – we do not live as Europeans, Brits or Asians, we live as Australians whose religion goes back 2000 years and is known as Orthodox Christianity – so get used to it, we’re not about to disappear anytime soon!

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2010

The next scheduled posting will be a poem that should appear here on Friday 10th July 2009.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – June 2009

In July 1988 I was working with a wonderful young woman at David Jones (Queen Street Store – Brisbane) who epitomized spunk and whom everyone liked. This poem was written for her during the month of July but was meant as a 1988 Christmas present. What I can’t remember, is whether I was daft/courageous enough to give it to her, or whether I just filed it away amongst the rest of my material. The poem was called – Someone Special

My highlighted author for the week is great novelist: Earnest Hemmingway

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – June 2009

It touches on the idea that modern western women can be feminine and take advantage of all life’s options.

The highlighted author for this week is the gothic writer: Mary Shelley

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – June 2009

Staying Invisible describes a particular lifestyle and how its informed by an Orthodox Christian world view. Wisdom Gained, Wisdom Lost… is a social commentary in regards to how current Western cultures over emphasise the importance of youth at the expense of the elderly.

The author of the week is: Edgar Allen Poe whose life was unfortunately cut short by tuberculosis.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – June 2009

It discusses the procrastination experienced by a medieval knight who reaches a fork in the road and can’t decide whether to go left or right.

The highlighted author for this week is the children’s writer: Roald Dahl

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2009

Great Is Truth – is another autobiographical snippet written on Tuesday about why truth and honesty have become such an important part of my life. The piece is filed under the general post category.

The highlighted author for this week is an Orthodox Christian Theologian – Alexander Schmemann whose material I greatly admire. I wish more of his work was available in print, but I am very grateful for the books that have been released.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2009

I spent the best part of 8 years at this university, finally leaving with a social work degree (not science) and this quote embedded in my psyche. The idea that truth does matter and is the only thing that can traverse death became an integral part of my worldview. Being honest and encouraging others to do the same was my way of putting the principle into practice – even though it caused me and those around me, all sorts of problems.

When life went horribly wrong in 1991, at the hands of those I most trusted, the need to communicate what really occurred was the only thing that kept me alive. I figured if I died, the other’s lies would have been my epitaph and no one would ever know what really happened to me.

Needless to say I was naive and a bit of a fool. What I didn’t understand, but soon learned, was that relatives (and friends) don’t necessarily care about the truth or want to know the truth. In my case, most of them chose to believe the lies being circulated because the lies were far easier to accept than having their illusion of reality shattered. The liar, who generated the lies, understood this principle well and milked the process for all it was worth. So much so, that even today, most of my family in Melbourne continues to believe this person’s misinformation about what happened in Brisbane in the 1990s – after all, lies are much easier to stomach and much more convenient to share, especially if the truth makes you look bad.

What pains me, is that experiences were turned into a “perspective” and suffering was made “invalid”, “covered up” or “erased” by both the liar and the believers of the lies. In spite of this, I have tried to treat everyone the same (both the good and the bad) and I have no intention of changing this approach. Contrary to popular opinion, I was not “brainwashed by anyone” or convinced to adopt my perspective, but have deliberately chosen not to lie about the events and not to protect the liar’s honour or hide their shameful actions.

I believe that one has to accept that certain things are right and certain things are wrong if one is to adhere to a civilised and moral code of conduct. I also believe that one needs to take responsibility for their actions and the consequences of those actions on others. Honesty should always be part of every human being’s way of life and people need to own up to having done something wrong; otherwise, trust can never develop between individuals.

As might be expected, trust no longer exists in the context I’ve described, and even though the path ahead of me looks no easier than the path behind me, I continue to denounce the lies created by both family and society in general. Presenting the truth is what I’ve come to stand for and if this upsets people (as it has done in the past), then so be it. Were I to cease presenting what I have witnessed, then what I went through in August 1991 (and since) will have been in vain!

Copyright © Vasilios Theodorakis 2009

It investigates the idea of what might lie ahead for one self if one could start over again as an infant.

The highlighted author for this week is the Sci-Fi writer: Alan Dean Foster

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2009

The commentary: Hope For The Planet… is a thought I had while on the train heading into Brisbane. Pulling into Roma Street Station I noticed a slab of concrete that had grass growing through a crack in its centre. Contrary to what Queensland Rail might think, I found this very encouraging.

The autobiographical snippet: Having No Desk… is something I’ve been wanting to write and upload for some time, but I didn’t have a place on the blog for autobiographical prose. In the end I’ve decided to just list it as a general posting.

The highlighted author for this week is a Futurist and Inventor – Ray Kurzweil

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2009

Most of that winter was spent in a tiny uninsulated room, trying to complete my degree’s third year social work subjects. I had to turn a drawer upside down and balance it on boxes on either side of my legs – just to get a level surface to write on. I can’t remember how much material I wrote in this setting, but it was horribly uncomfortable and incredibly demoralising. I was supposed to become a Physicist, for goodness sake, and here I was churning out Marxist dribble on the bottom of a drawer in Brisbane’s dampest suburb – Graceville.

During my darkest hours in 1989, I often thought about my grandparents and how they had migrated to Australia in order to ensure their descendants had a better standard of living. My parent’s actions inevitably put an end to that dream leaving me to fend for myself. Ill health and a lack of resources subsequently left me homeless. The fact that Graceville’s resident Casanova was kind enough to let me use his spare room, before I froze to death in my antiquated Subaru Sherpa, was my only break.

As someone who values writing above all else, it is interesting to note, that each time I found myself homeless in the late 1980s / early 1990s, the main thing that bothered me was having no desk. My lack of food and the absence of a bed seemed to come a distant second. When I finally bought a new desk, I was so used to “not having” possessions that I found it difficult to give myself permission “to have” the desk – even though it was desperately needed.

Now that its 2009, and life has greatly improved, it’s time to make way for a more functional writing environment, especially if I want to complete that piece of speculative fiction, that has clung to me like a 400 pound gorilla. :) Once the room is set up, I’ll post a few pictures of my custom built writing environment. Regarding my writing from 1989 – thank goodness for wide drawers and cardboard boxes! ;)

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2009

This piece of verse belongs to the “Growing Up” anthology and was written in April 1988 – the exact date in April was not recorded. As with many of my pieces from that era, it too is about the emotional turmoil associated with identifying a partner or life long companion. If I had just focused on finding someone that wanted to go out on a date first instead of marriage, I may have had better success! :)

The highlighted author for this week is another children’s writer – Beatrix Potter

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – May 2009

At a head level I’ve always found that religion and theology are helpful in dealing with loss, but at an emotional level it makes no difference to the ongoing grief because I know that even if I do encounter them in an afterlife, they will not be the same being I knew on earth.

I also pointed out to my friend, that I often look for my lost friends in other humans / creatures only to discover and rediscover that nothing more than aspects and traits of my friends’ personas are ever present in others – one never, ever, sees the whole again.

Once dead, their uniqueness is always lost to the world, irrespective of what one might believe happens in an afterlife.

This week’s highlighted author is: Thomas Keneally

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – April 2009

This piece of verse belongs to the “Growing Up” anthology and was written in April 1988. It’s a minimalist piece that captured simple feelings I was experiencing when visiting Brisbane’s Expo 88.

The highlighted author for this week is another scientist – Steven Hawking , specifically his book “A Brief History Of Time“.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – April 2009

This is another recent poem and falls into the ungrouped category. The piece is a tribute to Betty Cutlack, one of the few people in our neighbourhood that made us feel genuinely welcome when we bought our place. Betty’s passing deeply affected the feel of the street – it suddenly got a lot more impersonal – a sign of our non-communal times I suppose. Apparently, she lived in her house (which her husband built) for over 50 years. Her husband, who passed away back in 2004, also has a poem dedicated to him i.e. “A Neighbour Weeding”

Unfortunately I have no highlighted author for this week.

Readers might have noticed however, that I’ve fixed up the navigation and layout of the blog’s side bar. With a bit of luck, I’m hoping to improve more of the structure of the site in the near future. I’ll keep you abreast of any such developments.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – April 2009

This week’s poem: The Jolly Bunch – was written back in 1987 as a compilation of various experiences I had while catching late night trains at Dutton Park station. In all instances, I was on may way home from university – a place which I hated from the start because of its impersonal nature. I never seemed to tire of observing people’s behaviour however and was often more interested in the personalities on campus as well as the train passengers to and from home. What I was formally studying took a distant second place to my people studies. :) The poem’s structure also pays homage to the essay read out loud in English class by John Cusack’s character in the Rob Reiner film “The Sure Thing”. The piece is very much tongue and cheek and was never intended to be taken seriously.

This week’s highlighted author is: Mem Fox.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – March 2009

This piece is another recent poem and falls into the ungrouped category. Its central theme covers how insensitive many men are in regards to their wives’s feelings. It’s based on an amalgam of marriages I’ve observed over the years and includes some of my own marriage’s experiences.

This week’s highlighted author is: Arthur Conan Doyle.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – March 2009

This piece belongs to the “Growing Up” anthology and was written in February 1989 – the exact date of writing is unknown. The poem is a juxtaposition on last week’s verse which highlighted how I no longer enjoyed returning to the memories of my childhood. I think enough time has past for me to accept that my childhood wasn’t all “it was cracked up to be”.

In regards to this week’s poem – it explores how our imaginary playmates, hang around even when we choose to ignore them and/or no longer need them. As in the lyrics to “Puff The Magic Dragon“, I think these friends are probably an extension of our human psyche. Who knows, they may even have their own self awareness.

And finally, I’m starting to regret that I didn’t publicly release these poems much sooner – some pieces may have been of use to others during the course of the last 20 years. I suppose releasing them now, ensures its still better late than never, plus, I tend to forget that I didn’t have the luxuary of the World Wide Web back in 1989 (to digitally publish this material). ;)

This week’s highlighted author is: Mark Twain.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – March 2009

This piece is a recent ungrouped poem and captures a sense of well being that occurred while stumbling around outside our house. Such moments of grace tend to be few and far in between – especially for individuals like me. One can only hope that their frequency increases, but then again, without life’s little disappointments and emotional tortures, one’s fountain of verse does have a tendancy to dry up. ;)

This week’s highlighted author is: Ray Bradbury.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – March 2009

This piece of verse also belongs to the “Growing Up” anthology and was written in June 1988. It was my attempt to document what had happened to a work mate’s friend in the welfare sector. As a warning to readers, its quite a depressing piece, exploring the suicide of an individual who refused to seek clinical treatment for their mental illness.

I had thought this poem had been lost during one of the many “house moves” in my 20′s. Hopefully other missing pieces will now surface from the depths of my files.

Been a difficult seven days, so there’s no highlighted author for this week.

Kind regards – Vasilios Theodorakis – February 2009

This piece belongs to the “Growing Up” anthology and was written on Saint Patrick’s Day in 1988 – 17/03/88. The theme is fairly obvious i.e. wanting to talk to, and get to know someone (I had a crush on) but being too scared to do so. For better or worse, the poem highlights my naivety about women and relationships (even though I was already 21). Like many people of my generation, I had received no guidance or advice as to what a healthy and genuine relationship might entail. Unfortunately, I had also grown up with no useful adult role models and as a consequence, frantically read far too many autobiographies and biographies to compensate.

Readers will find that a number of my poems, from 1988 to 1998, follow a similar theme but the period thankfully ends in identifying what a lasting relationship isn’t i.e. that the warm fuzzy infatuation has nothing to do with finding a long term companion for oneself. It also took a while to understand that good relationships were reciprocal and based on gentleness, kindness and affection. My wife Helen, who epitomises all these traits, proved that it pays to persist with one’s search for a life partner.

This week’s highlighted author is: Brian Greene – in particular his novel “The Elegant Universe“.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – February 2009

This piece comes from a series of poems written in 1987 for the “Growing Up” anthology. Like many of these early poems, the exact date of writing was not recorded. The posted date is therefore an approximate – I do know, that the poem was written close to Christmas 1987 and was a response to a female shop assistant I worked with at the time.

As usual, I’ve also added a link to another author I greatly admire: Isaac Asimov.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – February 2009

This piece comes from a series of ungrouped poems written in 2001.

I’ve also added a link to another author I greatly admire: Greg Bear.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – February 2009

This piece comes from a series of ungrouped poems written towards the end of 2008.

I’ve also added a link to another author I greatly admire: Oodgeroo Noonuccal.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – January 2009

This piece comes from a series of ungrouped poems written towards the end of 2008.

I’ve also added a link to another author I greatly admire: Charles Dickens.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – January 2009

This piece comes from a series of ungrouped poems written towards the end of 2008 and reflects on what people go through who manage various forms of P.T.S.D. (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder).

I’ve also added a link to another author I greatly admire: Albert Facey.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – January 2009

Though cutting it a bit fine, I should be finishing the year by uploading a single poem per week (as I had hoped). All things going well, I should also be able to stick to this minimum posting in 2009. Again a big thank you to all this blog’s readers who’ve hung around during an excruciating slow 2008.

In addition to Shadow Takes Reality I’ve also added some links to other authors, whose work I’ve read over the years. These include: John Chryssavgis, C.S. Lewis, Frank J. Tipler, Saint Andrew Of Bethsaida and Saint Nicholas Of Myra.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – December 2008

The aim now is to recommence work on this blog at some point in 2008 and maintain a regular upload each week – irrespective of how small that upload might be. Grandiose expectations of editing and uploading 4 poems a week have fallen by the wayside and just uploading a single piece might prove more realistic. My appologies to people who have been visiting here since the 11th of January. My condition is such that I don’t have much control over its state, and have to work its management into my daily routine. This often means it takes precidence over everything else – especially when it gets acute.

I’ve finally added some wiki links to two other authors I greatly admire – Robert Louis Stevenson and Nikos Kazantzakis. Both these writers were brilliant social commentators in their time, challenging issues of inequity every step of the way. In spite of no longer being a practicing social worker myself, social justice is never too far from my mind, no matter what type of work I’m carrying out. Thus, my ongoing interest in the writings of such people like Stevenson and Kazantzakis.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2008

Before I do however, I’d like to thank the site’s many readers for their feedback and support from (across the globe). Its been very rewarding to discover that material which was stored away in archive boxes (and forgotten) for so many years is of some use and enjoyment to people out there on the Net.

This last set of poems, rounds up the year’s uploads to 52 – a good start I think, but there’s a lot more material to get through in the next few years.

The poems for this week include:
- Learning
- Human Within Humanity
- Once Upon A…
From the “Growing Up” anthology

And:
- Curvature
From a series of ungrouped poems written in 2001.

All things going well, I look forward to resuming my verse uploads in January 2008. Until then, keep safe and have a wonderful holiday/religious period.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – December 2007

And:
- Cleared City Land
From a series of ungrouped poems written in 1998.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – November 2007

And:
- Beginnings
From a series of ungrouped poems written in 1997.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – November 2007

The poems for this week take the total number to 40. Editing and uploading has occurred for 13 consecutive weeks.

The titles include:
- Love
- Parting With An Incapacitated Friend
- Completeness
From the “Growing Up” anthology

And:
- Monkeyed
From a series of ungrouped poems written in 2006.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – November 2007

Lets review what has worked so far and what hasn’t…

What Has Worked:
- three poems a week.
- poems in the order in which they were written.

What Has Not Worked:
- not uploading any recent poems.
- audio recordings which are taking far too long to generate.
- discovering mistakes in poems that have already had their audio and text uploaded to the site.

Because of the above issues, my weekly upload will now be based on the following:
- editing and uploading the next three poems in the order in which they were written.
- uploading a more recent poem each week.
- not carrying out any audio recordings until I’m certain a poem has reached a static (and correct) form.
- adding an audio version (MP3) and a printable version (PDF) to a poem’s posting once I know a poem is stable.

What does this mean for visitors? Audio recordings will be added independent of text uploads (and only when I’m certain that I haven’t missed any editorial corrections). The number of poem uploads will increase to four per week i.e. three older poems and one recent poem.

This week will be the last of the three poem per week format. I’d like to thank the site’s many visitors for their patience while I continue to iron out “how to proceed” in populating the site with its content. :)

The poems for this week include:
- Poverty
- Friend
- Budgerigar

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – November 2007

Though this early writing is a genuine reflection of where I was at during the 1980’s, its not much of a reflection of what I write today. As a result, I ask that readers grimace and ‘bare with me’ as I get this early material online. I hope that the anthologies which follow “Growing Up” are more to people’s liking.

I’ve also realised that some pieces are primarily thoughts – diary entries on scraps of paper which don’t have any poetic form at all. I’ve decided that instead of trying to incorporate these pieces as poetry, I’ll upload the material to the prose section instead i.e. ensuring that the work is still documented and available, but not being passed off as poetry.

All pieces from this week’s selection are still part of the “Growing Up” anthology – the splice of “Growing Up” and more recent work will begin in a few weeks time week.

The interesting thing about this week’s work is that it includes poems with various forms of rhyme. Rhyme was a technique that I dabbled in before developing my own style. Rhyming schemes haven’t been used in the bulk of my writing, as I felt they set up to many restraints for what I wanted to say and how I wanted to say it.

Again I’ve run out of time in regards to the audio versions – I will endeavor to get back to making recordings as soon as possible.

The poems for this week include:
- A Thought Of Peace.
- A Father’s Stand…
- The Loss Of Love?

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2007

It includes:
- The Universe – Force
- Nationality
- Time

My voice is almost back to normal, so I should be able to add audio versions for all subsequent postings. I’ll also endeavour to add an audio component to the last three week’s worth of material. This may take about a month to complete.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2007

Ironically, many of the hopes this adolescent wrote about – like not wanting to be a wage slave, did become my reality. (Not through choice mind you, but through circumstance – as a result, I have this to say to any young people out there – ‘be careful what you wish for, it may just come to pass!’) Because the ‘lad’s’ writing is so distant from what I do today, I’ve tried to keep the editing of these pieces to a minimum. In many ways, these poems have a greater (personal) historical significance than any poetic value – i.e. they track/highlight how my writing style developed. This first anthology was collated from 1983 through to 1990 and titled – “Growing Up”. It contains more than 50 pieces in total.

This week’s selection comes from 1983 and includes:
- Emptiness Within
- Recovery
- The Circle

I’ve also scanned some art work from this same era. The first image is of calligraphy I had created for the folder that housed all the poems (in this anthology). The second image is of a drawing I was going to use for the cover of the anthology i.e. if it ever got published. As I don’t intend to use this image, when I finally self publish this material, I thought it might be of some interest to web readers.

Unfortunately, my voice is still not 100%, so these poems will also have to wait for their audio to be added at a later date.

Finally, please keep in mind, that it wasn’t until 1987 that I started to add exact dates to pieces. As a result, poems from 1983 to 1986 are arranged in the order in which they were written and within the year in which they were written, but the actual date that they appear on this site is only an estimate.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2007

In the meantime, this week’s selection includes:
- A Neighbour Weeding
- Out Of Mind
- Cleo The Cat

In addition to this I’ve finally added the about the author page to give readers some idea of who they’re dealing with here. :)

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2007

The selection includes:
- Casting Off The Handed Down Toxin.
- Chaos In Sterility – The Western World…
- The Youth Wage.

In addition to this I’ve also updated the poetry index page, so that readers can view a complete list of poems at a glance. As of this week the site holds 21 pieces of verse in text and audio formats.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – October 2007

My appologies to people who’d like more regular verse, but at this stage, I can’t get more time off work.

Regarding what’s coming up in the next few weeks – hopefully, more information on the static pages; another week’s worth of early 1990s material; one more week’s worth of recent material – and then, I go all the way back to the start and begin systematically uploading poems and anthologies in the order in which they were written i.e. from 1983 onwards. The aim is to complete the “Growing Up” anthology first – before I do anything else.

As always – any NEW poems, commentaries, etc., I write, will be uploaded as I complete my editing process.

This week’s selection includes more poems from the early 1990s.
- An Order
- Going Home, To Rest…
- The Onward Struggle – Making A Place Of Our Own

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2007

The selection includes more poems from the early 1990s.
- Me? You? …Us.
- Happy Endings…
- To Quell The Racism…

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2007

The selection includes some of my favorites from 1994, 1993 and 1991.
- Cotton, Steel and Plastic.
- Soul Port
- Too Fast.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2007

This week’s three pieces have been uploaded simultaneously instead of appearing in a staggered manner. Normally, this ‘site update’ will appear at the end of the week providing a summary of the work that has been undertaken in the last seven days.

So far I’ve been able to stick to the three poem per week (editing) quota, without too much trouble. i.e. As we’re in our third week of operation, the site has 9 poems (in text and audio formats)

In time I’ll be adding a little info about each poem, but this will be located on the index poetry page.

Now to this week’s selection – all poems come from 2001.
- A Lite Blanket, A Brick Wall…
- Soldier Blood
- W.T.C.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – September 2007

The format of every recording is as follows: spoken track, background track and copyright notice at the end of each recording. Each anthology of poems will have a different backing track, and ungrouped poems from the last four years, will initially be released without such a track. The backing track is associated with the anthology’s theme. Being an MP3 file, title and author information should also be viewable on people’s MP3 equipment or computers.

You can download the audio version of each poem by right clicking your mouse and selecting ‘save target as…’ (Windows) or ‘save link…’/'download linked file…’ (Mac) from the displayed menu. This will allow you to archive a copy to your desktop or harddrive. Once I’ve uploaded more material, I will also be adding the site’s RSS feed to podcast services like iTunes etc, which should make it easier to locate and obtain audio copies of poems.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – August 2007

Also, please keep in mind that my work will not necessarily appear at the start of the blog as each piece will be accurately date stamped e.g. 20 August 1991, in order to authentically highlight when it was written. This means that a new release will not necessarily appear as the latest posting, but will show up within the site. You’ll need to make use of the RSS feed (from the site) to know where and in which time period the new piece has appeared.

And finally, thank you to friends and family who’ve unconditionally supported and encouraged the creation of this site to promote my poetry (and other writing). A special thank you to my wife Helen, who harrassed me daily (for almost ten years) to begin releasing my work publicly. Helen – I’m sorry its taken this long, but better late than never. :)

So, I thank you all again for your patience, and hope the material you find on this website proves worthy of your belief in it, and in me.

Cheers – Vasilios Theodorakis – August 2007